The Diary

of

Elizabeth Henley Nash

May – August 1901

Elizabeth (Bettie) Henley Nash Smith

Lu Rainey Nash Stennis, Elizabeth Nash Smith, and Minnie "Mimi" Lee Nash Oldham (l. to r. rear) and Rene Lee Stennis and Marion, Elizabeth, and Rainey (Totsy) Oldham (l. to r. front), ca. 1904

The Diary of Elizabeth Nash
May – August 1901

[Friday] May 17, 1901

Two years ago this month I left St. Mary's^[1] a graduate and from that time there never lived a happier girl than I have been. Each day I have thought of keeping a diary but just as often have I thought it would be a foolish waste of time. Tonight, however, I lay aside my scruples and bare my heart to one who cannot betray my confidence and herein shall be found my thoughts when each "today" is about to become a "yesterday."

Mr. Sellier was here tonight and I enjoyed his call notwithstanding the fact that a storm raged without. He said that the storm outside was as a "tempest in a teacup" compared with the tumult in "somebody's" heart, but he didn't tell me whose heart nor the cause of the tumult.

[Saturday] May 18

Many little hearts were made sad today because we were to have the school picnic but the rain deprived us of the anticipated pleasure.

Sir Roger was here tonight — as handsome as a picture and as fascinating as ever, but I didn't like him much. You may think the above statement paradoxical but it isn't. He thought it unfair that I made him leave at 10:30 and Mr. Sellier stayed until eleven, but I didn't.

[Sunday] May 19

Mr. Warder from Dallas came home from church with me this morning and was here until two o'clock. He is a ___-dish [prudish?] little "upstart" who has much to learn in this world but doesn't realize it. The rain prevented my going to church tonight but Mr. Sellier came up. I don't know why but I don't like him. I suppose it's because he wants so many engagements. He actually wanted four this week! Why I never heard of such a thing.

Monday, May 20

A protracted meeting began at the church yesterday, so tonight I went to church. Charley Brady was with me. I do adore him when he is not sarcastic, and then sometimes he tells me I am a flirt, not sincere, and things like that. I don't like him when he says those things — because they aren't true. Are they?

I got a lovely letter from Loyd^[2] today. I don't believe my diary knows him — do you? Well he is a perfect darling and writes to me so often that I am not going to tell my diary every time.

[Tuesday] May 21

Roger was with me again tonight — and what do you think? He had another girl's picture in his watch with mine. He swore it wasn't but I know it was. I took mine out. I didn't tell him he could have it anyway. It made him furious. It's lots of fun to make the boys mad, but it isn't much fun when they make me mad. I fussed at him but he made an engagement for Tuesday night anyway.

[Wednesday] May 22

Mr. Shackelford was here tonight and from his behavior I think he must have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. He complained at everything. I did stay awfully late at church but if he had wanted to he could have gone home and besides he stayed here until nearly twelve. He made me sure enough mad, and I don't like him at all. I don't know what is the matter with me this week but I really don't like the boys.

Perhaps I'm in love.

[Thursday] May 23

Mr. Sellier was here again tonight. I believe he is about the most obstinate man I ever saw and he just glories in it.

[Friday] May 24

Bless Mr. Robertson's^[3] life! He took me to church tonight. His father and mother have been here and he had not been with me for a long time. He sent me a book the other day but I don't like it.

I like him fine, but it may be because he has not been to see me much lately.

[Saturday, May 25

I was sweeping this morning when Mr. Martin came by and said he "couldn't pass without stopping a minute" but his minute proved to be an hour for it was nearly 9:30 when he left. We sat on the steps and had quite a nice little chat. He says he thinks it quite a joke that Mr. Robertson sent me some cherries last week but I don't see why.

I thought I would not have company tonight but Charley Barton came — the first time for two weeks. He is very complimentary. Says he loves me because he hasn't any better sense. I thanked him. He wants three nights next week and because he couldn't have three he wouldn't have any. Did you ever see anybody so contrary?

[Sunday] May 26

Charley came home from church with me this morning. Bob^[4] and Jim Coleman were here this afternoon. I love Bob, and if Jim was not so queer I would think more of him.

I remember well the night he asked me to love him. When he told me how he had longed and hoped for a reciprocation of his unbounded affection, I believed him for he had manifested his interest in so many ways and had done things for me that nobody else in the wide world would have done. And altho he brought tears to my eyes I could tell him only that he loved in vain. I was sorry, for he is worthy of the love of any girl on earth. He has rather shunned me ever since, and I think it is a shame for I don't see why we can't be the best of friends.

Mr. Shackelford and Mr. Martin were here later, and I fear I offended Mr. S. although he provoked me to say what I did. Now diary if you don't hear of him again you may know he is angry.

Mr. Martin was more hilarious than usual. He delights in teasing me.

Mr. Sellier came home from church with me but didn't have anything to say. He doesn't know how to say anything lately, but make engagements for a month ahead.

Charley Brady asked to come home with me. I wish I had not had a date. But of course Mr. Sellier doesn't know it.

[Monday] May 27

I was in town this afternoon and Roger came home with me. He was just as nice as could be. The preacher was here about two hours. He wants me to teach him watercolors. Did you ever hear of anything so utterly ridiculous? Charley Barton came home from church with me. He wants me to go to Waco with him to the Commencement at Add‑Ran(?).

[Tuesday] May 28

Walter Crow and Roger went to church with me, but Walter didn't go in because Roger had a date. The singer got furious because I didn't go to the choir and he made me mad.

Roger was so fussy I advised him to go home and go to sleep, and maybe he would feel better in the morning.

[Wednesday] May 29

Mr. Robertson was here tonight and as he had not been here for some time Mother^[5] let him stay until twelve. She shows partiality but I don't object — when the difference is in favor of those I like. And I like Mr. R. He sent me some new magazines the other day. He said tonight that there is just one girl "in all the world for him." I don't know who she is.

[Thursday] May 30

Mr. Sellier again! And I just simply told him he was coming too often. Of course it made him mad — but what of that! I told him "Every grief its solace has if we but strive to find it." He said he was going to get him another girl. Poor me! Walter and Mr. Cunningham were up here tonight and went to church with Mr. Sellier and me. They are cautions.

[Friday] May 31

At Herring's this morning I met Mr. Fenn^[6] — Edna's^[7] "devoted." He is fine, but he's a Yankee. Charley Brady came home with me and gave me a foretaste of a lecture he will deliver sometime in the near future. His subject is "Things in General, but Boys in particular." One is about as definite as the other. Don't you think? It wouldn't take me long to fall in love with him, if I wanted to, and I'll tell you why.

He is independent, but not too much so. He is ambitious but not selfishly so. The road of selfish ambition is, I think, too narrow for friendship, too crooked for love, too rugged for honesty, and too hilly for happiness, but that doesn't apply to him.

He is proud but not in excess. Pride as a principle is the parent of every virtue.

He loves music, and therefore must be good, for one who is a true lover of music could not find it in his heart to be otherwise. He is cultured and has refined tastes and these together with his perfect manners give him an ease and grace possessed by few but the envy of many.

Could these qualities, possessed by an extraordinarily handsome man, fail to make him fascinating?

[Saturday] June 1, 1901

Mr. Henry Martin came in today after dinner and we had another confidential chat.

Just because Mr. Robertson sent me six dozen cape jessamines this morning, Mr. Martin says I'm spoilt. He doesn't know. While I was away from home this afternoon a Mr. Norris came to see Mother concerning "her daughter." He said he had seen me on the street and had heard of me quite often, therefore he felt a strong desire to become acquainted with me. Wishing to do the proper thing under all circumstances he proceeded to come and ask Mother if he could call on me. You know they say it takes all sorts of people to make up a world. Well, I think he is one of the "sorts."

Mr. Sellier called tonight. Mr. Robertson wanted to call and I think it's a shame I had a date.

[Sunday] June 2

Mother is away from home and I didn't go to church this morning. Mr. Henry came after dinner and was here until the other boys came. He and I talked about "our neighbors" — how people are never satisfied, etc. Mr. Sellier came home from church with me tonight and I was in such a miserably bad humor I fear I appeared rude. He has a way about him that I can hardly endure. He is so very haughty, and — well, I don't know what, but I do know that I am positively tired of it.

[Monday] June 3

Mr. Shackelford and Walter were here this afternoon and had a little scheme by which they thought they would "work" me. I unconsciously stood the test and am so glad I don't know what to do. Mr. Shackelford came home from church with me and would not leave until 11:30. I wish the boys would learn that I don't care one bit more for them when they do like that. They are so inordinately selfish. I don't suppose they care.

[Tuesday] June 4

I went to the office this morning to mail a letter to Mother, and a boy^[8] who as my diary has already discovered is intensely interesting to me came home with me. He was here until the noon hour, and my dear diary — did you know you are very valuable? He says you are and offered me enough Huyler's^[9] to last a week if I would reveal to him the contents of the "green book."

Roger was here tonight to take me to church but as Mother was late getting home from Corsicana we didn't go. And the rascal said he was glad of it.

[Wednesday] June 5

As a usual thing I don't like explanations but when I found tonight that I had been misunderstood, and by Mr. Robertson, I explained. It was about engagements — to call, I mean.

Why can't girls do like boys? Suppose it were like this — If I wanted to see a boy, phone him to come up. Wouldn't that be fine? But alas! Propriety forbids!

[[Thursday] June 6

Mr. Sellier was here tonight. I have nothing whatever to say of him, except that I told him a story for which I as yet am not sorry.

[[Friday] June 7

Charley Brady was with me tonight and was just like he once was months ago. He brought me a lovely book — "Love Letters of a Musician." All love letters are sweet — but these are the sweetest I ever saw (except for some I get). One in which he speaks of the "Garden of Years" in the "Country of Time" is beautiful beyond anything I ever read. I wish I were a writer!

[[Saturday] June 8

Mr. Norris strolled over this afternoon. You know he is the one who came to see Mother about me. He says I am a sensible girl. (I don't know how he found it out) but advises me not to have company every night. Poor soul.

While he was here, Loyd came. Was I glad to see him? Well, yes. But not as glad as I might have been. There is something the matter with me but I don't know what. I shall love him more some day.

Mr. Robertson sent me a five pound box of Huyler's today. Bless his heart.

[Sunday] June 9

Loyd was with me all day and until twelve tonight. I'm sure he gets vexed with me, but I don't love him with that love which we are told is "woman's whole existence." And I would not dare give myself to one so worthy as he unless I could give him the boundless love and untiring devotion he deserves.

[Monday] June 10

Mr. Robertson had an engagement tonight but as the Knights of Pythias needed his services he broke it.

Charley Barton made one but on finding out that the Knights would not let him off either he came this afternoon instead. Poor boys.

I will not see him any more soon. He has gone away from here for the summer. I wish I could love all the boys that want me to.

[Tuesday] June 11

Mr. Henry took me to church tonight, and tried to convince me that he will not marry soon but I don't know about that. Mr. Henry is as honest as the day but you can't tell about these boys. Can you?

[Wednesday] June 12

I broke my engagement with Roger tonight because Mother was sick. But Mr. Shackelford found that I didn't go to church so came up and stayed until I made him go. I have heard several times that Mr. S. and Lane(?) DeBose will marry. I told him tonight that I didn't want him to be true to me because I never would love him but I did want him to be loyal to Lane, and that it is certainly not loyalty to her for him to talk to me as he does. He of course denies the reports but I believe them.

[Thursday] June 13

Mr. Robertson was here tonight and Mr. Ross came up for a little while.

I told Mr. Robertson he must quit sending so many things to me. I know I will never love him — altho he is certainly worthy, and I don't want to encourage him by accepting his many little remembrances. He says he loved me when he first knew me — now he worships me. I wonder if it is true.

[Friday] June 14

I have been struggling the whole afternoon to keep back the tears that have so persistently welled up in my eyes. Mother told me something this morning that if anybody else in all the world had told me I would have doubted it. I cannot confide it even to you, diary, but it has shattered my confidence in one who I thought to be the embodiment of perfection if such a thing existed. Verily "there's nothing true save Heaven."

There was never a sweeter more beautiful letter that breathes a nobler spirit than the one I got from Loyd today. He said his heart is sad but his letter made me sadder.

Sorrow we are told is the night of the soul, and we ought to rejoice that there is such a thing. For what would a day be without its night? The day reveals the sun and night brings to light the whole universe.

His letter revealed the most desirable trait a person can possess — a forgiving spirit.

I am sure he will prove himself a hero, for they are true heroes who, "folding a pall of tender memory over the faces of their lost hopes go with unfaltering courage to grapple with the future." And with his determination and zeal there is victory awaiting somewhere.

[Saturday] June 15

Mr. Norris was here this afternoon and we spent most of the time talking about the church. I believe he will make the confession soon and be baptized.

Mr. Shackelford was here tonight and as usual didn't want to go home when the time came. He is just the same as ever. I wish he wouldn't come to see me. If I don't want to see him, I'm a goose for letting him come. Don't you think so?

[Sunday] June 16

This has been undoubtedly the hottest day I ever saw in my life. Several of the boys were here this afternoon and they were all teasing me. I'm sure I don't know why they should. Mr. Robertson was here tonight but we didn't go to church because I didn't want to leave Mother alone. He is so nice.

[Monday] June 17

I was in town this morning and Cary Oldham^[10] asked to take me driving this evening. Well he came and we drove but I am exceedingly sorry. He told me he loves me and even asked me to marry him. I know he positively worshiped Lu Rainey and I don't believe his feelings could have changed. I don't know what to think about him. It certainly is strange.

[Tuesday] June 18

Mr. Robertson was here tonight again. Bless his heart. I will not see him again for a long time because I am going away.

Charley Brady came home from town^[11] with me this morning. He is going to map out a week for me and I am to do just what he tells me. He's a daisy!

[Wednesday] June 19

Cary was to take me driving this afternoon, but he went to Dallas and I had a telegram from him saying the train was late. He met me at church tonight though and brought me home "the long way" in his buggy.

[Thursday] June 20

Today I came to Ft. Worth with Mother. She is on her way to Alabama and Mississippi to visit her old home.

Lu Rainey met us here, and we have spent a glorious day at the Masonic Home with Uncle Frank Rainey.

It made me sad tonight to see all the dear little orphans but they are blessed to have such a lovely home, and such a man as a [our?] uncle to care for them.

I wrote to the girls tonight to tell them I would go home with Lu Rainey tomorrow. I also wrote to Cary and Mr. Robertson because I had engagements with them for tomorrow night and Saturday night.

[Friday] June 21

I came over to Weatherford^[12] today. The people Lu Rainey boards with are lovely. Mr. Ed Cunningham from home was passing through and came to see me tonight.

Today I met John LeGrande. He is a very extraordinary boy and I think we will get along famously. We'll see.

[Saturday] June 22

John and I had a talk at noon today. I am still favorably impressed with him.

We went to see our relations this morning. They are all very much interested in my getting married. I wish everybody thought as little about that as I do.

Now, diary, listen while I tell you a secret: Two years ago I was here on a visit and Toll Ivy(?) and I were together almost constantly. We learned to think a great deal of each other, and soon Toll told me he loved me not as a cousin but as he would the girl he expected to marry. I had never thought of such a thing, and really was surprised. I thought I cared for him and we were partially engaged, but after I got home I found that he was not necessary to my happiness — that I didn't love him at all and although we corresponded for several months I didn't want to. In March we met in Dallas and everything was broken off. Since then I have heard little of him.

Tonight he came to see me. We talked over matters and I was sorry to find that he had not forgotten. He told me that up to the time he loved me he had often had sweethearts but since then he had never cared for a girl. He says he never expects to find a girl that will come up to my standard, and that he still loves me. Do I believe him? No.

[Sunday] June 23

Some of the Weatherford young men called this afternoon and "just as the sun went down" Toll came to take me driving. We drove until after nine and it was blissful. He says he would give anything if I had not come over here — and his reason was a good one.

[Monday] June 24

I got two letters from Loyd today and one from Mr. Robertson. They were all darlings.

We went to Aunt Emma's to sing tonight. We knew Toll would be at the store. You know it is not best for us to be together much. See?

[Tuesday] June 25

We spent today at Cousin Lula's^[13] and I got home just in time to fill an engagement to go driving. I don't like the Weatherford boys.

Mrs. LeGrande told me tonight she had a fine joke on John and me. It was only this — that John had inquired very particularly whether or not I was engaged. Of course they have teased us both unmercifully, and tonight when they found us sitting on the porch together they were only too glad for more "material to work on."

[Wednesday] June 26

I got a letter from Mr. Robertson today. He doesn't forget me if I am away. And he writes such fine letters I like to get them.

It worries Lu Rainey that there are no nice young men here to ask to call, but dear me! She needn't bother on my account. I'm enjoying life immensely.

[Thursday] June 27

With Lu Rainey's help I made me a dress today. Diary, don't you think I will finally amount to something?

I feel today like I don't care if I live or die. Since early morning I have had a raging headache. The first I ever had. And I would like to think it would be the last.

One of the young men came for me to drive with him and I at first refused but he suggested and insisted that a drive would cure my head, so I went. I enjoyed it but as yet my headache is still with me and I fear will not be a thing of the past for a long time. I got a dear letter from Loyd today. Bless his heart! And some books from Mr. Robertson.

[Friday] June 28

Lu Rainey and I were asked to sing a duet at an entertainment tonight so we went to one of the neighbors to practice. We didn't practice however for some girls came in and of course we spent the time talking. We made a second attempt this afternoon but Lu Rainey sang "Daddy" and made me cry so I couldn't sing. But we sang tonight and did as well as usual.

Toll came home with me and begged me to reconsider an engagement but I told him I wouldn't think of such a thing and made him promise to say no more about it.

John waited for us until we came home. Said he only wanted to say "goodnight" — Bless his heart! He has proven himself to be quite a good friend of mine. He always takes sides with me — and of course the others laugh.

[Saturday] June 29

Mrs. LeGrande gave us a lovely dinner today in honor of my leaving. I have become very much attached to all of them.

Toll was here tonight and was as mean as he could be. I told him the boys at home wouldn't think of doing me like he does.

He took my ring home with him tonight. I tried to get it from him but I couldn't. I suppose he will take it to the station in the morning.

John was waiting for me on the back porch when Toll left, so I sat and talked with him a while. He says my trip to Weatherford has stopped him from smoking. I hope he won't begin again.

[Sunday] June 30

I was up with the lark this morning as my train left at 5:30. I had a lovely visit and as Mother is not at home I certainly did hate to leave Lu Rainey. Mr. Cross(?) came over to Ft. Worth with me and was just as nice as could be.

Several of the young men were here this afternoon and they all made me feel good by pretending to be so very glad to see me at home again.

Mr. Robertson was here to see me tonight and we didn't go to church because I was just simply too tired.

I got a sweet letter from Loyd today.

[Monday] July 1

Today I have been trying to get things straight. I think now perhaps I should not have gone to Weatherford, but maybe it will all be well soon.

Edna is here and she honestly makes me so mad I don't know what to do. She hasn't any more gumption than a last year's bird nest.

Mr. Robertson was here a few minutes tonight to get a book. It was one he had given me and I didn't want him to read it but I couldn't get out of it.

Cary came up and took me driving. It was fine but Cary provokes me. He knows I will never love him but still he is always talking about the trip we will take in the Fall.

[Tuesday] July 2

Mrs. Jackson came this morning from Dallas to sing in Mary's^[14] recital tonight and I have been so busy all day I am truly too tired to live. I certainly do miss my precious mother.

[Wednesday] July 3

Truly one would think I was "receiving" today from the number of callers we have had.

Edna and Mrs. Jackson went away this afternoon and I am afraid they will think I was not a very gracious hostess but I am not myself when Mother is away. I hope we will be without company for a while for I am positively nearly sick. I believe if I had time I would have a spell of typhoid fever.

Mr. Henry Martin came up a while this evening, and he had been gone but a few minutes when Mr. Norris came. He left in time for me to begin to eat supper and then Mr. Shackelford came. Before he left Mr. Robertson came and stayed until I ran him off at eleven.

He will leave in the morning for the North to be gone six or eight weeks. This afternoon he sent me a crate of the loveliest peaches I ever saw. Monday he sent me three ice melons.

I believe he really does care for me. He said tonight that he could express his feelings for me only by saying he loved me a thousand times better than his own life.

[Thursday] July 4

Quite a number of the Waxahachie people went to other towns to celebrate today, but I preferred to stay at home. I wish I could always stay at home. Cary came up and took me driving. I enjoyed it, but I sincerely wish he had not begun coming to see me. He will leave Saturday for California and he asked me to write to him. I at first refused but I finally promised to answer his letters.

[Friday] July 5

Our Kindergarten teacher came very unexpectedly this morning and I have been out soliciting all day.

Mr. Henry Martin came this afternoon to ask if he and Bob Coleman could take us to an entertainment at Mrs. Sleeper's(?) tonight.

We went and had lots of fun altho I don't usually enjoy those things.

[Saturday] July 6

I have been sick nearly all day but have been busy nevertheless.

Mr. Ed Cunningham was up to see me this afternoon and Mr. Shackelford was here tonight. He was as sweet as he could be.

[Sunday] July 7

Early this morning I got a letter from Mr. Robertson. It was lovely but I fear I must call him down. How lovely it would be if all the boys (except Loyd) would stay just friends!

Walter was here this afternoon and is quite as much of a tease as ever. I don't like him.

Marian^[15] has been here all day and is undoubtedly the sweetest thing on earth. I have just rocked her to sleep — the sweetest pleasure on earth.

[Monday] July 8

A letter from Mim today said for me to go to Corsicana^[16] Wednesday but I don't know whether I shall go or not. Mr. Henry was here from one to four this afternoon. He's a dandy businessman. Says no man on earth that is in love can tend to his business right.

Charley Brady came home from town with me this morning and stayed until nearly twelve. He wanted to hypnotize me but I wouldn't let him. I wouldn't be that much under the influence of anybody for anything.

Loyd was down^[17] tonight and we had a lovely drive. He is a dear old boy.

[Wednesday] July 10

Mr. Martin came by this morning to tell me goodbye and stayed so long I came near getting left.

Mim was surprised to see me but seemed really delighted.

Mr. Watt was to see me a while tonight and I find him the same earnest sincere Mr. Watt as of old.

The babies are angels.

[Thursday] July 11

Today was spent as usual with a house full of company.

Mr. Coulson(?) was to see me tonight and says he is going to Waxahachie to see me. I fear he is a fraud, but he is awfully nice.

[Friday] July 12

Mr. Watt wanted to take me down to an entertainment at the Cosmos Clubrooms tonight, but I didn't want to go.

Mr. Albertson called. He is the greatest talker I have seen in a long time.

[Saturday] July 13

I had intended going home today but Mim begged so hard I stayed until tomorrow.

I had letters today from Loyd, Cary, Mr. Robertson, and Charley Barton. They were all fine, but Cary makes me so mad I can't see. He pretends to love me devotedly and I know he doesn't so he has no business saying so.

[Sunday] July 14

After promising Mim faithfully that I will go back in August she let me come home today.

I got here about two and about 2:30 Mr. Martin came and was here until four. I cleaned up the house until Mr. Norris came and although I was sorry to be interrupted I forgave him because he brought me a picture. He hadn't been gone long when Charley Barton came to make a date to call tonight, but as I was already "dated" he will call tomorrow night.

Charley Brady came at 8:30 and looked as handsome as a picture. I don't understand him. I wish I did.

[Monday or Tuesday] July [15 or 16]

Minnie Watson's club was to meet with her tonight but her mother was suffering with nervous headache so Minnie very gladly accepted my offer to let her use my house.

Charley Barton was here to see me and didn't like it because the others were here. The idea!

He asked me again tonight to marry him but I could only tell him what I have so often told him before — "never." I hope he will fall in love with another girl and marry soon.

[Wednesday] July 17

I got letters from Loyd, Mr. Robertson, and Toll today and Mr. R. had Mr. Crow to send me the loveliest melon I ever saw. Ah he is so nice to me and he says he loves me more dearly every day. But I would give anything in my possession if he didn't. We could be such good friends if he would, but I can't be halfway civil to him because I don't want to encourage him. Diary, should I shut him off entirely? I just simply don't know what to do.

Mr. Shackelford was here tonight and as usual was obstinate. He didn't want to leave at eleven. The rascal!

[Thursday] July 18

Another ice melon this afternoon! And more trouble for me! Poor, dear Mr. Robertson. What must I do with him? Mr. Henry called tonight. He's a dear Mr. Henry.

[Friday] July 19

I went out soliciting for the Kindergarten this morning. I am trying to find out what my prospects are for starving to death next winter.

Roger was here tonight. He is a nice sweet boy sometimes, but I told him I don't love him and that he must not love me. I would be so happy if the boys would not ask me that.

Do you know I have lots of trouble? I wrote Mr. R. a letter today that I hated so much to send but I feel it my duty. He has manifested in so many ways that he loves me I am forced to believe it and he writes such darling letters that I know he is beginning to think more of me than is good for him. So I asked him not to write again.

Bob Coleman came this afternoon and took me driving. He is an interesting "duck" so I enjoyed being with him.

[Saturday] July 20

Mr. Martin came by today and was here quite a while. Mr. Norris also came over later in the afternoon.

Mr. Shackelford was here tonight but I didn't like him one bit.

Mr. Martin was here again today and made an engagement to take me to church, but we didn't go.

Several of the boys were here this afternoon and Mr. Shackelford came to take me driving. I think I will make him quit coming to see me before long.

[Monday] July 22

Charley Brady sent a note up today asking for an engagement tomorrow night but I had one. I was downtown later and he came home with me. I love to talk to him. He is exceedingly fond of getting my curiosity aroused, but I am having some fun now, for I know a few things.

[Tuesday] July 23

I was at Herring's this morning and Mr. Martin, Mr. (?), and Roger nearly teased me to death. People impose on me because I am good natured, I believe.

Charlie came home from town with me. Bless his heart!

Bob Coleman took me driving tonight and was here until eleven. I like him fine.

[Wednesday] July 24

The Chautauqua began tonight and I had the pleasure of attending the first program with Mr. Martin. Some of his Italy^[18] friends were here so we went by the hotel to see them.

[Thursday] July 25

Charlie Brady came home from town with me again this afternoon and we were having such an interesting chat he stayed.

The rain prevented our going to the Chautauqua tonight.

[Friday] July 26

Today I got the sweetest letter I ever read from Mr. R. I wrote him a letter telling him I could never love him and this is the answer. Poor me! I think I'll never get off the earth.

Roger took me to West End^[19] tonight and I expected it to pour down rain, but we came home in the most beautiful moonlight one can imagine.

He says I am a full fledged flirt. But I'm not.

[Saturday] July 27

Roger came up this afternoon just for instance, he said, but I knew he came to keep me from getting ready to see Loyd. "Mr. Smarty" didn't know that I had just gotten a telegram saying the train was three hours late, so the joke was on him.

Loyd was to take me driving but on account of the lateness of the train the drive didn't materialize.

He was dearer than usual tonight but I don't know whether I love him or not. Sometimes I think I'll marry him and again I don't know. I wish I knew my fortune. One thing I do know is that I don't love anybody else.

[Sunday] July 28

Ralph Getzendaner and Mr. Shackelford were here this afternoon and I was never more surprised in all my life for this is Ralph's first call.

Roger and I walked home from the Chautauqua ground tonight and I enjoyed it but I am oh so tired. We had a "heart‑to‑heart" talk and he told me something that I think will bring me to my senses about some things.

[Monday] July 29

My dear beloved (?) Mr. Norris was here today. Idiot! I came in from town and found him in the parlor so there was no escape.

Charley Barton took me to the lecture tonight but the lecture was not heard by either of us as we talked of more important things.

He said that after eight years of persistent struggle, he had forced himself to realize the hopelessness of ever winning my love and would probably marry in the Fall. I hope he is getting a dear sweet girl, for he deserves a good wife.

[Tuesday] July 30

Cary came home today and of course came up this afternoon to drive. He makes me absolutely weary. Sometimes I think I would like to leave Waxahachie, but whenever I do I always want to come back.

I got a sarcastic letter from Mr. R. and answered it with one still more sarcastic. I shall await impatiently the result.

[[Wednesday] July 31

I had no engagement for tonight but Cary very kindly came and took me to the Chautauqua.

The impersonator was fine.

[Thursday] August 1

This afternoon I went with a visiting young lady to the Chautauqua but one of the boys broke my umbrella and that broke my heart so I didn't stay long.

I went out again tonight with Cary, and he made an engagement for Sunday night.

[Friday] August 2

Today again I went to West End and was with Charlie all the afternoon. Had such a good time I unknowingly stayed until nearly six.

Mr. Ed Cunningham took me to the Chautauqua tonight, and I enjoyed it more than any night since it began. He certainly is fine. We had a little misunderstanding about the date but it all came out right.

[Saturday] August 3

Beautiful Mr. Norris was here today. Whenever I'm talking to him I feel as though I am enjoying(?) all the plagues of Egypt. But he is actually interesting because he is such a fool.

Mr. Henry was here a while too.

Mother came home and Aunt Eliza with her. I let Aunt Eliza read a letter from Loyd and also one from Mr. Robertson. She says no man on earth was ever as bad off as Mr. R. but she thinks Loyd writes a very sensible letter. She is in favor of my marrying Loyd but she doesn't think I will. Says a girl with so many beaux always marries a fool.

Mr. Shackelford took me to the Chautauqua and made me perfectly furious. I shall not go with him again.

[Sunday] August 4

There was an unusually large number of callers this afternoon among whom were some strangers. Cary took me driving and to West End. Tonight ends the programs and I am glad of it.

[Monday] August 5

Roger was here to see me tonight, and said he never will believe me again.

I told him I never drive on Sunday and wouldn't make a date with him, and he saw me with Cary last night.

"Mercy, mercy me

The trouble I see!"

[Tuesday] August 6

Bob Coleman and Mr. Martin were here tonight but Bob had a date so Mr. M. didn't stay long.

I got another letter from Mr. R. today. This is only Tuesday and I've had three this week. He's kind to write so often.

[[Wednesday] August 7

Roger went with me to prayer meeting tonight and I was perfectly astonished. I think he surprised himself as much as he did me.

Another letter from Mr. Robertson. Roger certainly is jealous and it's more fun to see him.

[Thursday] August 8

Tonight is the first one since Mr. Robertson left that I have not had a date and although Cary and Mr. Norris asked for engagements I devoted the time to writing to Mr. R.

I got another letter from him today that was characteristically sad and sweet. His letters are not poems but they express a great deal. I think like Charley Barton "Somehow or some else how I could never understand how sorrow in which all the passions of one's nature are commingled could be expressed in pretty language. How the discord of a life could find expression in harmoniously blended words."

But I believe a poet could do anything.

[Friday] August 9

Mr. Henry Martin was here this afternoon until three-thirty and thereby caused Miss Chapman to catch her train only by running at great speed down College St.

I went to town from the depot and got a letter from Loyd. Roger came home with me and made a date for Sunday night.

Cary took me driving this afternoon. I like him less every time he comes and I told him tonight that unless he changes his tactics I don't want him to come see me.

Mr. Mizell(?) was to take me to a reception tonight but it rained and when the carriage came we sent it back. I didn't want to go and of course he said he would rather stay at home and talk to me. But he won't come again for he behaved "unbecomingly."

He said if I had been a boy and had been talking to a pretty girl in a pretty evening dress I would have done the same.

...(page missing)...

[Saturday, August 10?]

In '98 after only a few months acquaintance with Charlie Palmer he much to my surprise tried to convince me that he couldn't live without me. Bless his heart! But dear me! You are living yet — aren't you Charlie? I certainly did admire his independence.

In '99 when I had been associated with Toll for three weeks only he ceased to be a cousin and was suddenly transformed into a most devoted knight willing to undertake anything it mattered not how perilous to win his lady's favor.

He too says his love for me is not yet a thing of the past — but time alone can tell.

Jim Coleman had told me for many years that he loved me but not until 1900 did he ask me to marry him. And Jim I have never told you because I didn't want to encourage you but you are the one who holds second place in my heart. You are a dear dear boy and have proven your true friendship a thousand times over.

And now in 1901 poor dear heart-broken(?) Mr. Robertson is asking me to pray to God to have pity on his miserable blighted life. And all this just because one poor little insignificant girl doesn't love him.

Now Loyd says that he has loved me ever since the first time he saw me, etc. But I never loved him — I never loved anybody. No, that isn't it. I loved them all — in a way but Loyd is so far superior to them that he has been crowned king of my heart.

[Sunday] August 11

A number of the boys called this afternoon and Roger took me to church. I had the best laugh tonight I have had for months. Such a good joke on Roger. I would like to tell it but as it involves me too, I will refrain.

[Monday] August 12

Charley Barton was here today to bid me farewell. He has gone to Decatur to teach next year.

Cary took me driving, and called tonight. It rained this morning and I hoped it would be too muddy to drive, but in vain. I am an idiot or I wouldn't go with the boys when I don't want to.

[Tuesday] August 13

Although it has poured rain all day, Mr. Henry was on hand tonight to fill his engagement. He says on the days that he has engagements with me the sun doesn't set until 11 p.m. He likes to say nice things.

[Wednesday] August 14

The black dress I wore to the church tonight created such a sensation I felt conspicuous. It was my first appearance in black but as Mother thinks it is becoming I may repeat the "offense."

Bob Carlisle came home with me-the old goose! He said something he ought not to have said and the girl with us laughed. If a girl had any refinement she wouldn't laugh when a boy makes a break, because he will think he has done something smart — and will be sure to do it again.

Whenever I look at Mr. Carlisle or Mr. Norris I always think "God made him, therefore let him pass for a man."

[Thursday] August 15

Mr. Norris came by today at five o'clock. Did you ever imagine that anybody could be so inconsiderate?

Mr. Carlisle came by and we went to play some tennis but I didn't play because there were so many boys up there.

Mr. Henry came home with me and stayed until Walter Crow came. Walter had no engagement and kept me from going to the band concert. I wouldn't go with him.

He was mad because I didn't answer the letter he wrote from Manitou. But pshaw!

[Friday] August 16

I drove with Cary this afternoon and he was here until eleven. He says I have the most don't care way about me he ever saw.

I am exceedingly sorry.

[Saturday] August 17

I have been so busy today I didn't have time to go to sleep, and consequently while Mr. Martin was here tonight I went to sleep. He didn't know it though.

He says he is afraid of me. I'm sure I don't know why. I told him I didn't know I was dangerous and he said I harmed people unconsciously.

[Sunday] August 18

Sir Roger walked to Sunday school with me this morning and made an engagement for tomorrow night.

Charley Barton came home from church with me tonight and told me the final arrangements for his marriage. I feel sorry for him because he is not truly happy. But I hope he will be. He is coming back again to see me — although he said he knew it were a thousand times better that he should stay away forever.

[Monday] August 19

Mr. Martin was here this morning to see if I would go to a party in the country Friday night. I am not going but he will call.

Mr. Robertson surprised me with a five‑pound box of Huyler's fresh from the factory this afternoon. It had never occurred to me that I would ever have a box of Huyler's candy right out of the factory and this fact together with the knowledge that Mr. Robertson thinks of me even when surrounded by the "sweetest of the sweets" makes me appreciate his kindness more than usual. Did a girl ever have such dear, lovely friends?

Roger called tonight but I was actually sorry for I had played tennis until I was too tired to talk.

[Tuesday] August 20

I played tennis again this evening and Cary came by the court and took me driving.

Bob Carlisle called tonight for the first and last time. I never saw such a gossip in my life. He is thoroughly disgusting for he says nothing good of anybody.

[Wednesday] August 21

Mr. Norris came by this afternoon but I was sick and asleep, so Mother asked him to excuse me. Wasn't she a darling? Fannie Lu^[20] entertained him and says I am under lasting obligations to her.

Walter called tonight. I don't know what I think about him.

[Thursday] August 22

Mr. Henry brought a buggy up here this morning for me to go driving but I didn't go, so he came again in the afternoon.

When I got home Mr. Ed Cunningham was waiting for me. Uncle (?) gave me a little lecture because he thought we drove too late, but I won't do it any more.

[Friday] August 23

I drove with Roger this afternoon and enjoyed it right much. When I got home I found Walter here, but he didn't stay long because Mr. Henry came. If Walter comes once, he will come again as sure as fate.

I am mad at Mr. Henry for he told me tonight he loves me and I thought we were going to be such lovely friends. I thought surely he would be just a friend for he had another girl, but he says he doesn't love her any more. It's a shame Mother says.

[Saturday] August 24

Loyd was down tonight and bless his dear sweet life! I felt sure enough in love with him. He is the sweetest boy in the world and says the sweetest things to me that any boy on earth could tell a girl.

I wish half the things he says of me were true. But — alas — he is so deceived.

[Sunday] August 25

Today has been a happy one, for Loyd has been here, and I am fully convinced now that I love him. And yet — I don't know whether I can ever make up my mind to marry or not. I am so happy here at home that I don't believe I will ever be so happy again. However, I may love Loyd so hard some day that I'll be willing to leave everything and go with him believing that my life's happiness depends on him, and him alone.

Mr. Sellier was here for the first time in weeks. I had often wondered why he stopped coming, but didn't ask. This afternoon he told me and after talking things over and he found that he had misunderstood some things I had done he said that it was a shame he had lost these three months.

It was nothing on earth but jealousy that caused all the trouble.

[Monday] August 26

Walter Crow was here tonight, and although I don't admire him he certainly does set me to thinking. He tells me things that no one else would have the audacity to tell me.

He says I am fickle but I don't believe I am. I know I am not. He also says that I encourage the boys to love me. I do not encourage feelings which can bring only pain to me and disappointment to them. I think it contemptible in a woman to promote in any degree an affection which she can't reciprocate. And if I do it it is unintentional.

Oh dear! What is to become of poor wretched me!

[Tuesday] August 27

Cary came to take me driving tonight but it was so late we didn't go. He stayed until Roger came and Roger stayed until eleven o'clock came. He is the same jealous Roger. Poor boy. I do enjoy teasing him. If a boy is jealous-hearted he certainly ought not to let the girl know it for she'll make life miserable for him.

[Wednesday] August 28

John^[21] left tonight for Houston where he has accepted a position. I do hate to see him go away but if he will just be a nice sweet boy I will not regret it.

Cary Oldham positively drives me crazy! He came tonight-and went to the train, and then came home with me.

I never get a chance to do anything I want to, for there is always some boy around, and I get tired. Oh, you don't know how tired.

[Thursday] August 29

After an absence of over two months Mr. Sellier called again tonight. He has my sympathy for he is so blue over his prospects. But I really don't think he need be, for he is such a strong character he can always get a position.

Judge Lancaster was also here and told jokes galore. I don't think Mr. Sellier enjoyed them very much because he is so dignified. And he thought as this was his last night he ought to have had it all to himself. He leaves tomorrow and I may never see him again. I am glad to have known him, for his eccentricities make him different from anybody I ever knew.

[Friday] August 30

Roger took me to see "Barbara Frietche" tonight and I have not had such a pleasure for a long time. And yet I am sorry I went for I learned tonight that he really cared for me. I believe I wish I had never been brought into this world of woe. He said he had loved me for a long time, and thought of course I knew it. I never dreamed of his being really in earnest. I told him not to come again unless he would quit loving me. He said he would come again, but that he couldn't quit loving me.

[Saturday] August 31, 1901

Having just passed through one of the saddest experiences of my life, I am not in the humor for talking to my diary but if I should go to bed I couldn't sleep, so I shall write.

Mr. Robertson was here and he always makes me sad lately but tonight when he asked me if I expected to marry Loyd and I told him yes, he broke down completely and cried. He said he was weak but I told him he ought not to be ashamed of his tears for they were the most sacred witness that our grief is sincere.

He talked the sweetest of anybody I ever heard in my life and when he left he asked me when I knelt by my bed to ask God to pity him.

I wish he were not so utterly miserable. I would be willing to drink his cup of sorrow to the dregs if it were possible.

If I had ever encouraged him in the least I would be most unhappy to think that I had caused such a dear friend so much suffering. But I feel and he says that I have never deceived him for a minute. How can a girl deceive a man who is really in love with her! God forbid that I should do such a thing even unconsciously!

Tonight my diary must come to an end, for as my duties in school begin I shall not have time for idle trifling. And although I will have my thoughts just the same I must just think them instead of putting them on paper.

Some idle thoughts of an "idle fellow"^[22] whose name has been frequently mentioned in the foregoing papers.

"Elizabeth's ink well may be a cone shaped bottle bearing the trademark of some concern that controls its millions; or it may be a plain glass bowl with a crown of the same — the difference is but little; but its Pythian nature holds it ready with its never failing fountain to pour upon the "tab[let?]" its waters which make the world feel the beat of the anxious heart — and the angels to rejoice over the favors shown the smiling fortunate.

And too, this "well" stands with open top for the pen to dip, and scroll itself along the lines leaving a snake-like trail in which the best favored can see nothing but loneliness. It seems to this victim that he has been precipitated to the very depths of despondency and the whole universe is resting upon him, with none but the gods to sympathize.

"The unmerciful jeer and [say] "I told you so" but the "well" is yet faithful.

"Tis a well like none gone before. From its fountain flow two waters — the lonely multitude rushes to its brink and drinks deep of its bounties, but alas! only to find that this water is bittered with the alka "Loyd" of "there is another."

"Just now we see one lone pedestrian plodding his way along the dusty highway of life, and just when he is about to fall by the wayside he too is attracted to this "well." But unlike the others he finds its waters cooling to his burning heart and soothing to his lovesick soul. He sips long and his thirst is quenched for he found a heart overflowing with that love for which he had been so long in search. Oh the most fortunate of fortunates!

"Elizabeth's inkwell is like herself — a murderer without law — a queen with but one subject."